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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Lilly and Ali

Today's post is actually a re-post (with minor additions) of a post I did over 6 months ago called "Am I single." If you follow my blog, you may have already read that post, but the reason I am re-posting it is because tonight on my reality show, The Shahs of Sunset, the viewers will learn about Ali for the first time.

I know there will be many questions about our story, so for those of you that are new to my blog and have not read it yet, here it is:
 
A lot of you have been asking about whether or not I have a boyfriend, and to tell my story re my engagement.

Well, here goes....

I grew up in a very strict Persian house-hold. "boys" or "dating" were foreign terms to me and were simply out of the question. Even in high-school, I was barely allowed to acknowledge that I had male classmates! It's safe to say I didn't date much (if at all) in high-school while I was living under my parent's roof. I was SO skinny and awkward looking anyway, so I'm not so sure anyone even wanted to date me lol



Then, I went to college! I moved to Austin from Houston to attend The University of Texas for undergrad, and I began to fill out and discover boys a bit. At the end of my first year, right after I turned 19, I met one boy in particular, he was also Persian. No, he was not a classmate, he was an attorney. Ooops lol.


I was the epitome of a good girl. I was an A+ student, a virgin, loved puppies, and I had never been drunk or done a hard drug in my life. He on the other hand was the epitome of a bad boy. Fast cars, loud jokes, owned night clubs as a hobby, womanizer, everything I didn't look for in a man.


He was instantly obsessed with me (obviously...) and we became friends. I was honestly so scared of him. Well, fast forward 2 years and after all the time, effort and inappropriateness he spent on me, we finally had our first kiss (talk about playing hard to get! lol). It was incredible. I will never forget that moment, I knew that I was in love with him.

Not our first kiss, obviously! lol
After that kiss, we began dating. We dated on and off for years and years (more off than on due to his not so boyfriend like behavior), all throughout the rest of college and law school. I had promised my mom from a little girl that I would not get engaged/married until after I had finished all my education, so a month or so after I graduated law school, he proposed and we moved in together. I actually moved from LA back to Houston to be with him. I gave up everything and everyone for him.

Dress shopping was so fun!! I bought two lol
Ring shopping was even more fun!
Well, that didn't last long lol. Old habits die hard, and many of his didn't die at all! Deep down he is truly a good man that loves me more than the World, but he had a lot of bad habits. So, we broke up, and for the first time in my life, I moved on for good. He had been my first everything, the only "boyfriend" I had really ever had. I had "dated" other guys during our off time, but never anything serious, and my heart had always been with him. Now, I was ready to move on. It was kind of scary, but super exciting at the same time!


Of course, just as with all men, it was only a little over a year after I left for good that he realized how much he loved me, how wrongly he had done me, and that he couldn't live without me. He vowed to make all sorts of changes and stop all sorts of bad habits if I would give him another chance.

Phi Phi Island, Thailand
I was so skeptical, but it's now been almost two years of knowing the new him, and I must say I am so impressed. He is all the things he should of been to me all those years- better late than never? or too little too late? I'm still trying to decide lol

What a gentleman pulling both bags!! lol

Today, we are best friends, and often act like boyfriend-girlfriend even though we technically aren't (I'm so scared he'll revert back to that guy if I take him back). HE even cooks for ME! Attempts to anyway...

WTF is this supposed to be?! lol
He is an amazing man. A self made, super successful attorney that owns his own practice. Truly one of the smartest, kindest people I've ever met.


Will we end up together? I don't know. Only time will tell what I can and can't forgive and forget... What I do know is that if he wants to be with me, this time he has to come to ME.  I moved to Houston for him once, I'm not doing it again. Before I will give him back his "boyfriend" title, he has to move to LA.


The good news is, they say at engagement the rule is the girl deserves 1 carat for every year you've been together, 10 carats sounds very fair to me.

10 Carats I tried on last month <3 (did not buy it!!)
xoxo,
Lilly Ghalichi

34 comments:

  1. Lilly my name is Marisela and im from San Antonio, TX. In my eyes you are perfection. I cant believe that a beautiful women like you goes through these things. You deserve what makes you happy and if it means starting over for you to find happiness then its well worth it. If i was a guy and had you i would never let you go.. I would have married you and knocked you up by now lol :). Do what makes you happy ! Take care

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  2. Wow Lilly
    You are such a classy , beautiful , down to earth woman. Thank you for sharing . Love your beauty tips , hair tips, life tips :) . Your parents must be so proud
    Of you. Thanks Lilly for being genuine . Don't ever change . Your unique and always be yourself.

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  3. Wishing you the best! You sound like a smart cookie ...take your time and make wise decisions.

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  4. I rarely read blogs but you are so sweet and lovable on the show! I love how completely honest and genuine you are about your relationship- the good/bad. I'm still in my early 20s and have been in a similar relationship and too, can see the bad and good and how much he loves me even though he can be a dumb dumb :) People usually think just bc you're attractive you'll have a perfect relationship with a guy but every relationship is so different. Your sweet way of telling your story with your guy made it very relatable. Thanks for sharing and all the best of luck! I love how high you set your standards.. I'm the same way and have thought that maybe I can be stubborn sometimes but you made me realize that that's not the case. Xo!

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  5. Lilly, you are so much fun! You deserve the best!!!! Good luck to you!!!!

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  6. Lilly joon, I just wanted to say I love everything about you! Not only your beauty but most importantly your personality. You are a strong, kind, smart, classy, and beautiful woman that is an inspiration to every girl.
    I love everyone on the show but they really do not show how a Persian can be cultured and classy....UNTIL you came on it! Your making us look good! lol. Thank you thank you thank you for knowing who you are and just being you!

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  7. what a touching story Lilly. I do hope it ends well with you having your 'happily ever after'...All the best and continue to be the unique you xoxo

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  8. Love the story! but maman joon always says: don't settle for the rest when you can have the best.

    I think you are one of the few successful, sexy, independent dokhtar irooni so don't let some guy who can't meet your expectations run the show. #girlsruntheworld

    check out more of maman's advice on
    mamansadvice.wordpress.com

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  9. Hey girl, I'm a big fan of yours on the show. What everyone saying here is right: you do deserve the best, and the best for you wouldn't hesitate for a second to come run to be by your side, especially knowing the sacrifices you've personally made for him and the flaws he's exhibited in the past. You're attached to this dude like a barnacle, which is completely understandable because he's pretty much been your only experience of a romantic loving relationship since 19, such an impressionable age in itself. It's easy to become comfortable and stick with what you know. It's also easy to depend on what looks good on paper: smart, successful, self-made, attractive, Persian, etc.. but none of that really matters if to this day you're still doubting one of the most basic necessities in a lasting relationship: trust. I really hope you find what you're looking for, whether in Ali or someone else :)

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    Replies
    1. i second that! very well said.

      you've gotta have trust, but in your case it might be hard to regain any...

      best of luck to whatever you decide on doing. you've got the brains, try not to involve feelings at this point. obvisiously, they're already involved big time, but it's too late to depend on feelings alone. i like your ultimatum, but don't even think of extending it!

      well... it's easy to say when you have no clue on what's going on wahtsoever, isn't it? :)

      all the best to you, lilly. you deserve to be very happy!

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  10. I love that you are so personal and chare so much with us. I hope the best for you and that you will get your prinscharming some day :D

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  11. Thank you for sharing your story. It's nice to know we all struggle with the same issues.

    It must be something with the 'Y' chromosome lol

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  12. I hope it all works out for you two . x

    @danielleturn

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  13. Lilly,
    You are an amazing, accomplished young lady. PLEASE, PLS, do NOT waste the most precious years of your life on Ali! I too am from a VERY strick culture(eastern european) and experienced the same situation as you(wealthy/smart man from good family(smart player too("smart" works both ways(for good&bad behaviors). I met the LOVE of my life a few years ago, but wish I had NOT wasted so many years on a USER/LOSER(who knew what to say&how to say it, they know how to play their victims).... Guess how they become so good at the game...lots of practice and victims along the way....Go out there and live your life to the fullest, before it' too late and you are not able to have children, etc. take care of you because if you don't know one will do it for you! Best Wishes for a Happy New Year!

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  14. Lilly I need relationship advice plz. Ive been dating this guy for about 5 months. Im not the type of girl that wants to have casual sex with someone, and i feel he might be. We have no commitment. Should i bring this up to him or just keep playing the game? How would you handle this?

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  15. Thank you for telling your story. My first real love and b/f was a Persian guy. It didn't work out with him because his family is super wealthy, mine is middle class and I'm Turkish. Apparently mixing in the Persian culture is a big no no so his family didn't approve of me :(. It worked out for the better though cause I met someone new and am married to a great guy now. I wish you all the best and like you said, sometimes it takes a guy to lose you to realize how much they love you. Hopefully your man will do right by you this time b/c your honestly like ever guy's dream girl. Smart, beautiful and successful. Happy 2013!

    Xo

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  16. Hi Lilly jan Im so sorry to tell you from my own simillar experience ( having Persian parents and not being able to date in high school and being Super skinny ) I got engaged with my first bad boy real boyfriend who was Obseessed with me and two years later it ended with restraining order and alot of broken hearts :( I need to tell you move on and stop waisting your time.. Im sorry as hard as you try he will never be mature enough to undrestand your worth he thinks he loves you but he doesnt know what being in Love intails ! You are talented smart beutiful and got alot going for you and trust me you are only going Up from here just ditch him he could be great person but lets just say timing is not right. You are a princess and you need to give other boys chance to not only date but findout what you even want in a mate just dont ever settle for anyone but Prince Charming !!

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  17. Hi Lilly your love life is very typical to every girl ,and that why so many can relate to you and look up to you. I wish you the best. But I dont think Ali as much of a great guy he may ve. He clearly is not marriage material. A guy will move mountains to be with their love and will put your needs before his. My husband knew I was his love of his life at age 18 and 20 yrs. Later his love for me there aren't word to express , but by his actions .He truly treats me like a princess. I hope you find your true prince charming. And when you find him you won't need to put him an ultimatum.

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  18. you love him a lot, so I really hope it works out for the best. your writing style is fun and it shows you have a sense of humor, good luck w the 10carats lol, and appreciate the personal story

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  19. Love is not about what we get, only what we give, and that is everything- Audrey Hepburn

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  20. You are truly an icon to every girl!! A woman with not only beauty (and body) but also BRAIN, personality, class and real honesty =)

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  21. Lilly when are you going to answer all our questions? Pleaseeeeeeee

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  22. totally love this post... and engagement rules have to apply in your case ...

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  23. I went through something very similar...twice. Both were 6yr relationships but the first one went on for years after it ended. You obviously know what I mean. Now he's married to a girl from my grade back in high school and I'm in an unfulfilled relationship. He was my first everything. The thing is...I know I made the right decision not getting back together with him AGAIN (off and on for years, broke up for over a year then tried it again, etc). I was able to forgive him (and myself for my mistakes during it all) but sometimes it's not about that. Sometimes the mistakes we make CHANGE things inside us or the other person so much (or so little but those little changes add up, too) that it just isn't ever "right" again. You should be able to be all in without fear.

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  24. To be honest I didn't think I liked you much on the Shahs of Sunset (which I love), BUT after reading some of your post and this one I DO! I totally adore YOu! Plus you are a great role model for young girls and woman, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!!!!!

    P.s. I would do anything to have my eye make up done like yours and I can't wait for Lilly lashes.

    Stay True,
    Tikaa
    www.totallytikaa.com
    *if you left a comment on my blog, I'd be in blogger heaven!

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  25. When I was little I told my mom I would marry a guy named Ali. I found him, married him two years ago, and just had a baby with him! I believe that name is lucky, and I hope your Ali some day brings you all the joy and happiness mine has, but never settle. Every girl is worth being treated like a princess!

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  26. Hii lilly thank you for sharing your story!! So happy for you that ali finally seems to be coming around and working on himself for you. Right now I'm in the middle of a very similar situation-really recently broke up with my boyfriend of a few years because of his bad habits and behavior and indecisiveness. I still love him but right now I'm not sure if I should keep in touch with him and try to be friends or try to move on. I was wondering when you and ali broke up what you did that first year?? Like how you handled not being together after so long when obviously you still cared for each other?

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  27. This type of human being do not change. They are too old to change and understand the meaning of morality. The word honor- or the meaning of an honorable man are strange to this kind of person, he does not understand the meaning of the word respect.. To him just because he is successful that is enough or that he earns respect by being an asshole..

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  28. Persians/Iranians gotta stick together and have eachothers back, cause none else will. Visit my Persiandudeee channel on youtube for more info.

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  29. I have watched the Shah's of sunset and I have to admit that I love your character. I am so excited for you Lilly, but let me tell you one thing. the same thing happened to me, I forgave my ex and wasted so much time on him (about 10 years), but at the end we broke up. I guess we never meant to be together, and I believe that everything happens for a reason.
    Now I am the luckiest woman alive. I met this amazing guy and I used my experiences, I never allowed him to treat me the way I didn't deserve to be treated. We are married and I am having the best time of my life. It's not about marriage, it's more about respect that you gain. nothing is for free my love. the price of marriage is the love that you two share.If you want to stay happy and be loved give him a time limit. don't waste your youth on men.
    hear this from a friend

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  30. I have watched the Shah's of sunset and I have to admit that I love your character. I am so excited for you Lilly, but let me tell you one thing. the same thing happened to me, I forgave my ex and wasted so much time on him (about 10 years), but at the end we broke up. I guess we never meant to be together, and I believe that everything happens for a reason.
    Now I am the luckiest woman alive. I met this amazing guy and I used my experiences, I never allowed him to treat me the way I didn't deserve to be treated. We are married and I am having the best time of my life. It's not about marriage, it's more about respect that you gain. nothing is for free my love. the price of marriage is the love that you two share.If you want to stay happy and be loved give him a time limit. don't waste your youth on men.
    hear this from a friend

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  31. Moroccan queen i florida. U are gorgeous smart and nice. Women. I love everything about u .u are my idol. By the way im skinny like u .i love modeling and swin suits might be interested on me.

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  32. LOL Kim Kardashian wanna be except you are a gold digger instead of self made. Not even that good looking. I feel bad for the guy who has to put up with your alleged stupidity and eventual divorce taking half his money. I guess that makes him dumber than you if he cannot see that.

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